The Video Vat - Thriller.

Top o the morning, internet!

Today's edition of The Video Vat has been provided by intrepid fan James M., who insisted we stop feeding his dog cheeseballs. Stupid bitch should know better, we say.

We can't help but marvel at the beauty of this Bollywood production. The steady beat, the thrilling exclamations, the skillful thrusting of hips, the brilliant composition. Still, we can't help but feel like we've heard this song before.

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Soledad Brothers - Steal Your Soul and Dare Your Spirit to Move.

Soledad Brothers

Steal Your Soul and Dare Your Spirit to Move
Estrus Records
2002
http://www.myspace.com/soledadbrothers
4.0 / 10

We at The Fat Vat are no strangers to obnoxious album titles, but this one may even be a bit too much for us. What were they thinking? As though the arrogance of being another group of young white boys trying (and failing miserably) at the blues isn't hard enough to stomach, as though the redundant guitar riffing and slow burning quote-unquote blues jams aren't sloppy enough, as though their blatant Rolling Stones rips aren't inept enough, as though singer Johnny Walker's pale delivery isn't self-serious enough, as though "Nation's Bell" doesn't pander to the white-belt/black-pant kids enough, they wrap the whole mess up with a logically inexplicable and overly pompous album title. Great. We didn't like it before. But we hate it now.

Outside of the solid "Prince Among Thieves" and a triumphant middle eight in "Miracle Birth", the only use we can see for this album is for a little experiment. Care to attempt? It's easy: Put this album on next time there's a party. Go ahead, don't be shy. Now, observe carefully. See those kids bobbing their heads along and pretending they already recognize the song? They suck. Experiment complete.

Don't believe us? Download it first.

DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince - Homebase.

DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince

Homebase
1991
Jive Records
http://www.willsmith.com/
8.5 / 10

Some pray. Some beg. We lament. And we have no greater reason to lament than Will Smith's aging. Look at him, a vapid, soulless Hollywood movie star with tie-in deals and model toys in his likeness. Hard to believe there was a time in his youth when he could outwit LL Cool J with more flare than Flava Flav. We seen it. We lived it. We were there.

Fine. That's a lie. We weren't there. But our uncles and aunties are certain it happened, and if Homebase is any evidence, we believe them. Smith still turns the club cuts into a stand up comedy routine, but here his jokes are actually funny (or at least fun), and are floated by Jeff Townes' incessantly creative production. On "I'm All That", Smith's one liner chorus is punctuated by a sudden horn sample and raspy chorus barking back the lyric. "A Dog is a Dog" is about as cutting edge as 1991 will ever get, despite Smith's ego getting a bit too much stroke in his verse.

Of course, we all know these compliments would have been redundant by this point in the duo's recording career. Where Homebase defers greatly from And in This Corner is in its maturity. Sure, the party cuts are here, but songs like "Summertime" defined a generation with nostalgia and grace, literally reinventing the "back in the day" sentiment as one for hip hop alone. Meanwhile, "The Things U Do" is one of the only moments they let themselves get tender without being ironic about it, and the album profits all the more for it.

Like every Will Smith album, Homebase is front-loaded. "You Saw My Blinker" gets a cheap laugh, maybe. Maybe. Aside from that, there's hardly a moment in the last four songs worth hearing. "Who Stole the DJ" is the lowest point, attempting to milk an unfunny premise and weak beat for nearly five minutes. We still don't know what they were thinking.

That said, Homebase is easily the high point of Smith's recording career. Sure, it's bubblegum. Sure, most of it is throwaway. But those aren't intrinsically bad qualities, now are they? If you can get past the Will Smith, Megastar(tm) distraction, and we insist you try, you're bound to be delighted by the simple joys Homebase proffers in abundance.

Don't believe us? Download it first.

Ask Team Vat - The Strokes.

Welcome to another thrilling episode of Ask Team Vat, your one-stop place for shedding light onto the deepest and darkest of your unknowns. Because together, dear readers, we can solve anything.

Today, we're fielding an anonymous reader's incomprehensible question:

"were are the strokes?"

Indeed! While we haven't any idea what that string of words might mean, we believe in giving anything the old college try.

If you're curious where The Strokes have gone, and we suspect you are, you're not alone. It seems they've stopped returning our calls, and we're here stuck with the dry cleaning. After some digging, we've come to learn you may be waiting a little longer than expected for the boys to be making any triumphant return.

While their second LP, Room on Fire, tricked lesser critics into thinking the band had talent, by First Impressions of Earth pretty much everyone finally realized the only reason The Strokes got this far was on a cache of cool. After dwindling interest and the necessary backlash that comes with sudden fame, The Strokes seemed all but defeated. Sure, Al Hammond released two nice-but-forgettable solo albums, but the band proper seemed done.

Word is they're back in the studio, hard at it for Album Four, and that the recording process is painfully slow. Will they implode for the pressure, or come out stronger yet? We shall see! For those who need reminding, The Vat has offered us "Barely Legal", one of the better songs from the band's prime.

Behold, science at work! Got a question for the brains of Team Vat? Submit!

Broken Social Scene - You Forgot It in People.

Broken Social Scene

You Forgot It in People
Arts&Crafts
2002
http://www.myspace.com/brokensocialscene
9.5 / 10

Posted as requested by Emily H.

Sometimes, a critique will just write itself. Realistically, this one should. You Forgot It in People is the sort of album we could effortlessly wax on about for days. It is jubilant, thrilling, intricate without being delicate, different without being difficult. These are among some of the most imaginative songs our beloved Vat has ever had to offer. Easy, right?

Yet here we are, without a clue how to begin. Any attempt at describing the songs inevitably falls short. They are simply that grand. We might point to other opinions. You Forgot It in People is now considered among the best Canadian albums ever recorded, and the best album of its release year. We might, but we'd rather not. Perhaps we could mention the songs themselves, and how in the first five tracks Broken Social Scene cover more territory than most do in a career. We might point to how effortlessly the songs hang together, forming an almost perfectly paced album full of adventure and eventual homecoming. Of course, that would take a level of camp far beyond our modest ability.

So, we think this one time we might prefer to not say anything much at all. You Forgot It in People is among that rarest breed of masterpiece; it will always exist just above any description of it. It insists on being experienced firsthand. Who are we to argue with that?

Don't believe us? Download it first.

Red Snapper - Our Aim is to Satisfy Red Snapper.

Red Snapper

Our Aim is to Satisfy Red Snapper
Matador Records
2000
http://www.myspace.com/redsnapperofficial
7.0 / 10

Jazz fusion can be awful for a gob of reasons. It's too slick. It's too soft. It's too heartless. It goes nowhere. It goes too many places. Indeed. Luckily, Red Snapper avoid most of these pitfalls on this, their last official release.

Two of those critiques, fusion's slickness and heartlessness, are intertwined. Seemingly be default, the grittier the track, the more passionate (and immediate) it can seem. Red Snapper are fully aware of this on Our Aim is to Satisfy. While the production is tops throughout, a careful bit of gracelessness is allowed in. When compared to Voodoo Funk or Zero 7, these tracks feel vibrant and nearly vicious as a result. "Shellback," equipped with a dirty bass and stuttering beat, likely shares more with dub than what we might call fusion. "The Rough & The Quick" is coursing with all the vitality its name implies.

There are freakouts, as any good fusion album ought to have. The problem is only that they are inexplicably understated. The punching horn on "Bussing" sounds almost like a snore. "The Rake" is nearly accapella due to the hushed mix. If the smarter upbeat tracks teach us anything, it's that Red Snapper are best when they're excitable. The mellow moments invariably hurt the mood, but they hardly spoil the party. Our Aim is to Satisfy is stuffed with promise, and leaves us hoping Red Snapper find their way back into the studio, and out of it, soon.

Don't believe us? Download it first.

BB King - Makin' Love is Good for You.

BB King

Makin' Love is Good for You
MCA Records
2000
http://www.bbking.com/
6.5 / 10

In 1998 BB King had a realization John Lee Hooker should have had twenty years earlier: sometimes you just gotta mix things up. Going along a path of studio albums, each besting its precedent in production and instrumentation, BB saw things getting overstuffed and irrelevant sooner rather than later.

So he did the unthinkable: he stripped his sound to the bones, recorded most every track live with his backing band, and produced the album himself to make sure no one got in the way of keeping things simple. The result of the shakeup was his stunning masterwork Blues on the Bayou, to this day among the greatest blues albums ever pressed. Sadly, his follow up Makin' Love is Good for You attempts to let lightning strike twice, and misses.

The band return, as does the simplified recording, but the philosophy is gone. While Blues on the Bayou consistently threw the hammer to typical blues tradition, Makin' Love is Good for You plays everything straight, to the point of formula and cliche. "She's My Baby" is the worst of the culprits, showing BB falling back on old riffs he's been playing since Lucille.

There are bright moments of course. This is, after all, The King. "Monday Woman" is a wild Chicago-style romp, and "Since I Fell for You" shows a mournful side to BB's blues that tends to get overshadowed by his love and humour. While BB puts in a solid performance, only on these tracks do the band keep up.

The good does outweigh the bad, but barely just. Makin' Love is Good for You is classic, classic BB. He's still witty. He's still strong. He's still kicking. That might be enough for some, but any fan hoping for the heart of Riding With the King or the heat of Blues on the Bayou might want to sit this one out.

Don't believe us? Download it first.

Ask Team Vat - Smashing Pumpkins' The End is the Beginning is the End.

Welcome to the first edition of Ask Team Vat, your one-stop place for shedding light onto the deepest and darkest of your unknowns. Because together, dear readers, we can solve anything.

Reader Twighlight M. writes (and yes, that's the name he gave us. And yes, M. stood for "Master"):

"Can you upload that Avengers song? I think its Billy Corgan. Its brand new."

Gladly, Twighlight! Though, we must confess we have no idea what the hell you're on about. You've got Ask Team Vat off to a rocky start, if we do say.

What we suspect you're talking about is The Smashing Pumpkins' gothic "The Beginning is the End is the Beginning", a song featured in new American trailers for The Watchmen. How's that?

The song, however, is not new. Corgan & co. originally wrote the song as a score for Joel Schumacher's abortion Batman & Robin. After having submitted the song to Warner Bros., the studio refused to publish the material, insisting it was too dark for the movie. So Corgan rewrote the song and released it as "The End is the Beginning is the End", with "The Beginning is the End is the Beginning" as its b-side. The original, if we do say, is far better, and good on you for catching it.

Ironically, The Watchmen trailer using the song made its debut with the movie The Dark Knight. Oh, Hollywood, you tricky sonofabitch.

You can download the song yourself here, though if you can find the single, certainly buy it. There's an additional track, "The Guns of Love Disastrous" that's just roses.

Behold, science at work! Got a question for the brains of Team Vat? Submit!